Grateful and Blessed

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I feed my husband.  No that is not correct.  I prepare almost all the food that my husband consumes is the correct statement.  Except on rare occasions, he doesn’t even put yogurt and fruit in a bowl for breakfast.  Is he capable of doing so?  I am sure he is.  When I go away he does eat yogurt and peanut butter.  Thank goodness for peanut butter!

Sometimes it makes me angry that he doesn’t fix food for himself and for me.  Sometimes I rant and rave about his food preparation inabilities.  I envy couples where the husband does the cooking or even part of it. But I will still keep cooking for my husband and most of the time I love doing so.  I bitch about him and complain about his shortcomings but I love him very much and I know he loves me.  For this I am grateful.

I am meeting with a woman today who was married to her husband for 53 years.  He died yesterday.  For the past year he was bedridden and she completely cared for him, mostly on her own.  He had a nasty disease having to do with nerves and muscles and she watched his decline before they knew what it was that was happening to him.  She had to take over all the responsibilities of their business and their home.  As she said,” I never realized how much he did.”  She has aged 100 years since I last saw her several years ago. 

She is a strong and brave woman.  She could have probably put her beloved husband into a care facility but she chose not to.  She literally did “feed her husband” and bath him and turn him and do a myriad of things that I don’t know if I could do for mine. 

When I get annoyed at my husband, and I know I will, I will think of them and be grateful for every morsel of food I prepare and share with him. I will be grateful and blessed with every minute I have with him, knowing all too well that they are limited no matter who goes first.

 

On Plaid Friday I bought this piece of art from Maria Wulff.  Please let it guide me every day.Image

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3 Responses to Grateful and Blessed

  1. Melissa Middleswart says:

    I really relate to all of this, both the irritation with a husband who refuses to do much for himself (I’ve had one of those for 40 years!) and the realization that I’m still blessed to have him. I certainly feel for the poor woman you describe, and hope she will at least get some rest, now. My mother also had a debilitating illness for several years at the end of her 73 year old life and my dad cared for her devotedly. I know if the time came I’d have to put my husband in a nursing home as he is about twice my size and I have back and neck issues so would never be able to do the physical part of the care for him, sadly, myself. We just need to enjoy the time we have with our loved ones, and as we get older, we start realizing that time is getting shorter.

  2. Annie Crandall Bancroft says:

    This is very beautiful. I just found your blog today, thanks to Jon Katz (who does look very funny in the sheep mask you gave him!!). I love the potholder you bought from Maria

  3. Jay Adams says:

    I discovered your blog a couple of weeks ago via Jon Katz. Writing from the viewpoint of a small town funeral home is a very interesting perspective and very thought provoking. You’re doing great work and i look forward to your future posts.

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