Yesterday I was at the opening of the Agriculture Stewardship Associations annual art show fundraiser (www.agstewardship.org). This is a wonderful event that our funeral home has been proud to sponsor for several years. The preserving of our beautiful landscapes is very dear to me.
When I went over and spoke with one of the board members that I had met at the past two events, she looked me in the eyes and said, “I am following your blog.” I had a mixture of reactions. First, I was touched that she would be interested in reading what I wrote. After blog class this past week, I was feeling inadequate and very unprofessional. I haven’t advanced the “look” or technology of my blog as many others have. Last week I wrote nothing. I just couldn’t find any words. Our homework had been to define a clear purpose for our blog. I really don’t know what that is either. Somewhere inside of me, I have stories to tell but right now I am having difficulty with the changes that are happening in my everyday life.
The second reaction to “I am following your blog” was a feeling of being naked. It is one thing to have a conversation; to say something and then walk away. It is a very different feeling to write those thoughts and feelings down and then invite anyone and everyone to read them. It’s scary, real scary and I had almost decided not to do it anymore.
Yet I am hearing that there are people out there that are interested in what I can share.
I feel strongly that one of my purposes is to help people be more comfortable with the subject of death. I strongly believe that the rituals of death have an important impact on life. This is a theme that will be a thread woven into my writing.
Life is about change. Change is the most constant thing there is in life. Change is difficult, so very difficult. I am a 61 year old woman whose life is changing faster than I had planned for. For some reason I am called to write about that journey. Thank you for being interested in sharing it.
So I will continue. I will write what comes to me—a little of this, a little of that. Sometimes it will funereal, sometimes not. No matter what are plans for our lives are, we are never really in control. So it goes with this blog.